Jaden's Journal

Jan 3, 2019
So... I’m finally moving out of state and I’m both super nervous and stressed about the move.

For one, I don’t have family or know anyone where I’m going and I’m not entirely sure what to expect when I get there. I do have a job lined up and I’ll be making enough to afford a decent apartment by myself (the reason I accepted the job and relocation was for the money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), but I’m still nervous.

There’s also the matter of packing all my stuff up, shipping what I’m planning on taking, and getting accepted into a good apartment that’s making me anxious. The company I accepted the job offer from has agreed to pay my airfare and there’s a $3,000 lump sum for moving expenses, so I have that going for me...

Actually, narrowing it down my greatest worry is being me and living alone in a strange place. It certainly doesn’t help that my mom is pushing for me to move into one of the nicer areas with higher rent because they’re safe, but those are on the top end of my budget.

Idk, there’s a lot to think about and it might affect how frequently I can reply to threads/messages.
Jan 3, 2019
Right now I'm super stressed and it's showing, so I might be not 100% around even if I am online.

So...moving progress is happening.
[x] All my necessary worldly possessions and the vehicle I usually drive around are in transit.​
[ ] My apartment app was approved, but I'm in a nebulous kind of area with actually having the apartment.​
[x] All hiring-related documents and paperwork have been handled.​
[ ] Idk about furnishings and I'm not terribly concerned about that right now.​
I need to figure out internet when I get there and I really should cancel a few things before I leave state.
It's literally an assload of time and money to go back and forth from my home state to anywhere that isn't a bordering Canadian province.

About that stress...

Idk what's wrong with me, I've been nauseated for the last week and the carpooling situation isn't helping. Migraines are being triggered more regularly and make the nausea thing a fuckton worse than it already is, tbh. To top it all off, fatigue sucks.
Jan 3, 2019

I can't help but sometimes wonder if people (in a very general sense) are testing what I'm willing to put up with.

Anyway, I'm basically settled into my apartment. Unfortunately, things have been busy and chaotic so I've mostly been handling replies on my phone and stuff. I also keep getting hurt, but w/e.
Jan 3, 2019
So I basically have to find a second, part-time job for the weekends to keep up with paying off old debts and actually being able to start up a decent amount of savings. I also have to consider where I see myself in a year or two as far as overall employment and whatnot, because grad school is expensive but might put me closer to what I actually want to do (whatever that is).

Idk, right now I need to focus on getting by, reducing expenses as I go as much as I can, and then I can figure out what I want to do with my life.

It probably doesn't help that I've been tumble weeding it through the last few years. I really need a concrete goal to aim for tbh.

Also, if replies and stuff are less consistent and ridiculously slow, this is why.
Jan 3, 2019
So, I managed to pay off a huge debt before it could be sent to collections, which would have majorly sucked.

The downside is the natural gas/heat was turned off (it's a long story, I paid the thing, but it's bs and I'm super tilted about it) until I can cough up money to pay them to reconnect the service and whatever. Long story short, it's getting cold and freezing showers every morning was garbage so I sort of have cold-ish symptoms rn. Oh, and I haven't been able to do laundry or dishes because who the fuck cleans with cold water.

Also, I've been working my ass off on my side gigs, which is great, until I realize I basically have to do that to break even every month.

Haven't worked out what I'm planning on doing next year, school is obviously on my radar (as if I can afford it, rip me), I'm just not 100% I want to work the job I've been working/live where I am while going to school.
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