Life As We Know It

Sky Reed

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Location
Under Your Bed
Life is a maze, and sometimes you couldn't figure out where to go because everything looks similar. Yet, when you stop for a moment and try to figure out your bearing, you would soon discover that some of the intricate detail is so different from the other ones you encountered before. The same as the people you meet may wear the same sheep's clothing, but others are worse than wolves but actually monsters inside. :)

I went through some difficult times, even to a point I want to get out and not come back. Or get to the point that I began to question, is this really what I want or if this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? His leg is not going to be sewed back, and yes, he is getting prosthetic once his stump heals. But this is my new reality, as I kept saying before, my new normal.

Every day I am exhausted; the daily routine consists mostly of his needs. His dialysis machine, cleaning and changing the bandage on his stump, cleaning and changing him, feeding him, since I don't want him falling, so I demand that he tells me, ask me, for help or for what he needs. Sometimes I ask if I ever notice this before or just simply ignore it because our situation is not the same as before. But he would be irritating sometimes when he doesn't ask if I am doing okay or when he demands he needs to be changed. Or something is right in front of him, and he would still ask me to hand it to him. And I silently ask what about my needs? Isn't this supposed to be two-way?

But what would happen to him if I do leave him, and break it off with him? He would be abandoned; his son is not going to take care of him. He already washes his hands off his father.

So I had made a decision that I would be here. Not just because no one else will. Because the first time I met him, he is the one I want. And I love our life. It is simple. We just need to move so far away, so that his son cannot find us or get to us. Lol

When you love someone, there are times you might waver from that love but once you glance at that person next to you and think of the possibility of leaving them and not seeing them in your life anymore. All those little shouting matches you had with each other, angry words, snide remarks, you would feel a stab in your chest, and know you cannot take it back.

I had turned to this site a number of times, because of my addiction, the fascination over some of my favorite partners I cannot get enough. So let me take this time to apologize to the people I had hounded, demanded attention, I have bugged to the tenth power with inconsiderate demands and DMs. I am weaning out of it now. But some people I cannot forget, they would be on the other list that I would not talk to ever again.

Life is indeed, a puzzle. And yet, once the pieces started falling right into place and you are almost done solving and putting in the rest of the pieces, it is not every day that someone like him comes my way. So for that, I thank everyone here for helping me keep my sanity :)
 

humon

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2019
Location
Canada
Relationships work best when the people involved communicate openly. When your partner bothers you, let him know, and ask him to let you know when you bother him. Not so that you can hate on each other, but so that you can both become better attuned to each others' needs. He probably had no idea that you were annoyed by him asking you to hand him something. Perhaps he forgot to show the proper appreciation for what you do, because he was thinking about other more immediate things. And maybe he thinks you're emasculating him in the way you take care of him, and it hurts his pride to be disabled. But if you speak honestly with each other, all of that will come out, and it won't be a puzzle anymore. Love means wanting the best for the other person. If both of you want the best for each other, then honesty will always lead to a positive result.

I also like the trick that Jordan Peterson uses, where when he and his wife have an argument, they go into separate rooms for a couple minutes and each think of what they could have done wrong that led to their conflict. When they come back out of those rooms, the mood is much more conciliatory.

but others are worse than wolves but actually monsters inside
By their fruits, you'll know them :)

Those who intend the worst will flee from honesty like cockroaches from the kitchen light.
 

Sky Reed

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Location
Under Your Bed
The dialysis center demands my partner to go to the dialysis center to draw blood. They said at least once a month. They know that he just had an amputation, so yes, getting out of bed, walking, or trying to walk to the steps going down to the first, second landing, they said our two flights of stairs is not a curved staircase since the second landing is not a curve more like square so we cannot install a curving stairlift. Hence, we only have one to the longer stairs. Two steps then two doors, out by in front of the pool, small, and uneven pathway leading out to the gate then on to the pathway. Our loft is on the second floor above the garage at the back of the house. Although it's cramped, we love our place, only a tiny stand-in shower for two grown men and two rabbits, it suits us. Because you cannot get this kind of privacy in any apartment you find with incredible amenities that increases their rent every month.

So yeah, I cannot get him out of the bed on my own, even with a walker. He still hasn't managed to really hop his way of walking without the prosthetics yet down the four steps then on the stairlift. I cannot ride along side him since our stairs are narrow. I either wait for him downstairs or try to climb on top of him to get down the steps. Getting him on the stairlift by myself is another obstacle if we manage to get to the stairlift. He is more massive than I am and taller than I am, he is a big bear.

It's always is by transport. One way roughly is $250 if two EMT can manage to get him down. But estimate a round trip to the dialysis center to be $1200 and it is going to be out of pocket. I don't even have a hundred dollars, let alone 200. Where do they think we will steal that amount to satisfy their need for him to go down there.

So blackmail is the next way to twist our arm. If we don't get him down there, they would pass us to a different dialysis center. It is ironic, and I am not their client, yet they have to go through me for everything. Even if I am sleeping, his doctor will insist he wakes me up so that she can talk to me. Because I handle his medication and everything else. They gave us their ultimatum. I told him, then let them I said. I don't fucking care if they are going to switch us. How is this helping us? They are giving us more stress. They said they are compassionate, and they said we can always say no, and we won't hear anything about it anymore. But when they decided to call him instead of me, when I said give me the phone and I will explain it to them again, the social worker hang up on him. Because they know I don't buy their bullshit.

So here is the thing, I blocked their numbers so they cannot text or call me. They didn't call us for a week. Maybe they tried to call me. So I gave my partner instructions if they reach out to him to tell them I lost my phone since we don't have any money anymore to pay for two phones.

My partner, sigh, missed calling in an order for his dialysis boxes, so yeah, now we have to grab some from the dialysis center. So okay, we hired our neighbors. The last time we sent them down there to pick the boxes. So they were asking if they are our neighbors why do we pay them money? They interrogated the guys who picked up our boxes and said they lived across the street from us.

And I looked at my partner, truly perplexed and puzzled, why won't I give them any money? Yes, they are our neighbors we asked for a favor to carry 50 sixty pound boxes up the stairs, and I help when they reach the stairs, of course I would help and still pay them. It is not an easy task to carry those boxes from the street to the back of the house up the narrow stairs with a stairlift on the side, of course, I said, naturally I need and want to pay them. They did me a huge favor I wouldn't be able to do that on my own. And probably cannot ask for another favor ever again. My partner said, probably that is what they do with their neighbors. Lol. I told him you might be right, look what they are doing to us.

So along with the boxes, they sent vials for the plembotamist coming to draw his blood. I am amazed that the hospital and the dialysis center are in competition with each other and not share the blood test results. They have to draw their own blood, like 10 to each company, the hospital, and the dialysis's center own set of vials. They don't care if they poke him ten times since he is a hard stick. Along with those vials are an icepack and container that can be fedex right away the same day. I was grinning and told my partner, see? Who gave in? If you stick your ground, they will not insist, especially if you ask them to go ahead and move us to the different facilities. I would happily add maybe the other facility doesn't bully and blackmail their patients. hehehe

Sorry this long winded, I just needed to get this out of my chest. This is what I had been dealing with for months. Aside from asshole social workers who tried to lie to us and say we are not getting charge for the ambulance and the transport service hounding us with a bill. She got reported right away. I couldn't understand people sometimes, they know your situation they will still rub at your face, why don't you move? Or maybe you should move to the ground floor so you wouldn't have this problem, I will report them for harassment. It is not their problem and none of their business. They are here to do their job and not for their opinion. And yes, I am not shy to say that to their face. I didn't ask for your opinion. You are here to get him down the stairs. Just let me know if that is not up to your capacity and your job description. I would be happy to tell your boss about your opinion. I am done dealing with assholes pretending to be compassionate.
 
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